The Inlaw

Today I am the offended in-law. What does that little addendum of a term mean anyway: "in-law"? Only by law are we sisters? Daughters? Mothers? I will tell you that if my husband and I are one flesh (he is not my husband IN-LAW), then I feel like my in-laws are family. Not because the law says so, but because my heart does. I guess that is why I hurt as much as my husband when a family member (in-law or by blood), says something to tear us down rather than build us up. If a friend or acquaintance questions my integrity or that of my husband's, while hurtful, I recover with little wounding to speak of. Not so with family. There is something gut-wrenching and heart-mauling about a member of the family unit exacting judgement and condemnation of either myself or my husband (or, God forbid, my children!) Why does the term "family" give some a perceived license to dig from a sense of self righteousness, and bury the "misguided" victim with it until he is gasping for breath and breaking ground with no sense of rational means of warfare, only pure instinctive survival. I know that Jesus condemned the pharisees for flaunting their "holiness". Jesus did not teach people how to judge. He taught people how to love. If we can't begin with our family, be it through spirit, blood, or by law, how can we learn to love the world?