Freewrite

Sometimes, I stumble on here out of boredom. Sometimes I just feel a need to write about nothing particular. Tonight, for instance, I have nothing specific to say, but I feel a need to say something. I'm doing a freewrite, I suppose. I've done this exercise with students. The theory is that, if one writes for a full sixty seconds whatever is in his mind, without putting the pen down, something spectacular will arise up from the paper :) Is it happening yet? No? Well, I shall keep on writing then.

So, the past several days, I have been in my new classroom. What a feet that has been!! I've been unpacking boxes, moving furniture, dusting, hanging blinds, hanging curtains, hanging bulletin boards, hanging, hanging, hanging! Good grief! Maybe I'll get to planning a lesson soon! The truth is though, I love this part of the process. Setting up the classroom is truly the fun part of teaching. Don't get me wrong, teaching in and of itself is satisfying and energizing, but putting together the classroom is the mark we put on our school before we ever say a word to the students. It says "This is who I am! This is what is important to me!" Am I clean? Organized? Creative? Colorful? Environment is the key to a healthy class. I'm so thankful to be able to create mine.

Well look at this! I've found something to say. Something that I will look back on and read one day and say, "Yep, I remember that process. It was tough, but it was fun, and it was worth it." I feel like I say that about a lot of things in my life. And I guess that's a good thing.

A Time for Every Purpose...

Today I signed my life away. Well, my life as I know it anyway. Today, I resigned my position as a stay-at-home mom, and accepted one as a middle school teacher. Whew! That's scary! If I'm being honest, I am surprised by the complete joining of two seemingly opposite emotions of both excitement and dread. Not long ago, my four year old son, Tadan, asked,
"Mommy, remember you wanted to be a teacher and I didn't like that?"
"Why didn't you like it?" I asked inquisitively.
"Because if you are a teacher, you won't be my mommy, and I'll have to find a new mommy."
Gulp. The words punched me in the stomach and took my breath away. I knew what he meant and, let's be honest: no reassurance from me could change the fact that if I returned to classroom teaching, major change would come about.
His words now haunt me. I will change. He will change. Our family's lives and how we live them will change. Have I mentioned my disdain for change? Of course God, who knows the number of hairs on my head, knows this about me. He prepares me. He has even stirred excitement in the depths of my being for this part of myself, long forgotten, which I will be drawing from and slipping on like an old, silky, comfortable dress. A teacher is who one is, and not what one does so, in this respect, I have always been a teacher. I have not been paid to be in a classroom for seven years though. As uncertain as this whole process will be for myself and for my family, I welcome the adventure, and the way that it will add to who I am and who God is crafting me to be.